whats wrong with me??? something is really wrong with me!!! i don't know what but i do know it Isn't good...
I'm not who i was.. and i don't want to be the person i am...
i feel like i am being crushed, trampled and the world is leaving me behind..

someone says they love me...i die more... i am not with them and it tears me up.
jailed in this place where i live like a loner and where i cannot find comfort...
where is that girl who always had a smile to brighten the day? where is that girl who knew what she wanted and strode to it no matter what? where is he girl whose convictions made her strong and confident, proud and sure? she is missing... lost somewhere in the past year in this place where love and affection is in drought.
where she wakes, eats, sleeps alone... and even when she is peoples presence she feels alone... the worst kind of loneliness one can feel...alone in a crowd...
she feels distant from herself as if watching the happenings through a third party.
detached and empty she looks on...if there is hope in the distant she cant see it... for she is veiled by the mist and the sheen of tears unable to escape.

A feeling...

little by little it seeps in..
this poisonous liquid..through the veins..
its ingredients are frustration, loneliness and a sense of self hate..
succumb to the tears that fall..not knowing the reason why
days go by and yet your heart sinks deeper
ironic this is as it should be lighter with each passing day giving hope to the troubled heart
but instead it tightens its grip on the soul that was once filled with hope and love and smiles..
it has now become desolate as a dessert with tears of salt to wetten the dry ground.
the ground hardens like the heart and it begins to show signs of cracking..
the poison had done its work
it has seeped in entirely... little by little...